AP English 11 really is a funny thing. For the most part, you sit there in a state of stress, occasionally crossing into a state of pure fear. However, there are times where you think, “I am, God help me, in a state resembling happiness” (196). Sometimes you just cannot wait for class and once there you find yourself smiling and laughing along with everyone else. Even Ms. Serensky. Although, those moments are always ephemeral; soon enough, you find yourself thinking fondly of the fetal position. I remember walking into the room on that very first day. As expected, all the joy and confidence that comes with the status of being an upperclassman quickly left me. I found myself looking longingly across the hall into Mrs. Ashkettle’s room. English freshman year…a world without SOAPSTones. I would “always expect the worst” and because Ms. Serensky “has never, not once, taught me to expect anything different” I learned to come prepared for any challenge she had for us (196). We became more used to the workload as the year went on; although I often found myself thinking, “I’d like one of those for myself. A life,” as I browsed other people’s Facebook statuses about having fun while I continued to put off my work (186). Still, unbeknownst to us, we actually were becoming smarter, better writers. She is a sneaky one, that Ms. Serensky. As the year went on, the fear began to subside (well, a little) and we worked harder than ever before. The end was in site-the AP test- and more than anything, we wanted to conquer it. Eventually, we all realize that the lingering fear may never go away and we must learn to accept it. With that acceptance comes determination. We may not be able to change the class, but we can certainly change ourselves. You might know a feeling like that.
Your friend,
Kelly
Kelly, I too experienced the major stress from the transition into AP English. However, I agree with you in that it was an enjoyable experience. We learned so much in AP 11 it's so hard to even comprehend. When I read papers I wrote in 10th grade, I actually find myself laughing out loud. The fact that we eventually accepted our fear, like you said, helped us to become smarter people!
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